


Yaoi Log

by Moon11wolf



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Crack Fic, Multi, Stupid names, There is No Escape, Victor with a K, Yurio is so angry, bye seung-gil, chat fic, fite me, phichit cannot be stopped, phichit is high on power, phichit is the server admin, super gay, tiny baby ota/yuri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-28 01:37:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10821018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moon11wolf/pseuds/Moon11wolf
Summary: What would happen if all the skater bois (+1 skater grill) had a chat and Phichit had the power to change things?Pretty much mayhem.IDK what happened.This is your co-captain ahumblescientist speaking. I want to warn all of you that this work contains a very high sodium count. If you have heart problems, please have caution.(Yurio is always salty.)





	1. Day 1 of Gay Log (Creation)

**Author's Note:**

> Pretty much a drunk fic I swear.  
> Legend:  
> Server Name: The Smexy Bad-D...  
> User List:  
> Viktor Nikiforov - IceIceBaby  
> Yuuri Katsuki - Katsudon  
> Yuri Plisetsky - IceKitten(Yurio)  
> Phichit Chulanont - HamSchoolMusical/HamstersOnIce  
> Mila Babicheva - DoYouPairLift  
> Christophe Giacometti - DirtyMartini  
> Jean-Jacques Leroy - KingJJStyle  
> Otabek Altin - Beka  
> Seung-Gil Lee - NopedOut

**P-chulanont:** #general now exists suckersヾ(☆'∀'☆)

_P-chulanont added: **y-katsuki** , **y-plisetsky**_

**Y-plisetsky:** why

_P-chulanont changed **p-chulanont** to **HamstersOnIce**._

**HamstersOnIce:** because we need to have a talk

 **Y-plitsetsky:** about what should i be worried

 **HamstersOnIce:** maybe

 **Y-plitsetsky:** im leaving bye

 **HamstersOnIce:** there is no escape

 **Y-plitsetsky:** of course there isnt jfc

 **Y-plitsetsky:** so are we just the only ones or

 **HamstersOnIce:** not anymore

_HamstersOnIce added: **v-nikiforov** , **c-giacometti.**_

**Y-plitsetsky:** you added these pieces of garbage and not beka tf is wrong with you

 **HamstersOnIce:** o yah wait a minute we actually have more losers

 **HamstersOnIce:** added: o-altin, m-babicheva, **JJ-Leroy** , sg-lee

 **Y-katsuki:** What is this and why is it being done at 3 AM.

 **JJ-Leroy** : Whatever it is, I’m a little worried?

_HamstersOnIce changed **y-plisetsky** to **IceKitten**._

**IceKitten:** UP YOURS

 **HamstersOnIce:** i didnt know you liked anyone but beka

 **IceKitten:** SHUT UR FACE OR ILL NAIL IT SHUT

 **O-altin:** hi

_HamstersOnIce changed **o-altin** to **Beka**._

**HamstersOnIce:** welcome to the madness (≧▽≦)/

 **M-babicheva:** Is this the sin tin?

 **V-nikiforov** : i hope so ( ´ ♡ ⁾⁾⁾)/

 **IceKitten:** i hope not

 **V-nikiforov:** oo can i change my name? (ノ*°▽°*)

 **IceKitten:** remember when we had normal names? phichit? huh????

 **HamstersOnIce:** vik, yes. yurio, no.

_HamstersOnIce changed **v-nikiforov** to **IceIceBaby**._

**IceKitten:** THATS NOT MY NAME GDI

 **IceKitten:** AND NOW THAT DUMB SONG IS STUCK IN MY HEAD THANKS

 **IceIceBaby:** ( ´ ♡ ⁾⁾⁾)

 **Y-katsuki:** Viktor;;

 **Beka:** yura please

 **IceKitten:** NO

 **C-giacometti:** omg what is this

 **C-giacometti:** i luv it phichit change me too

HamstersOnIce changed **c-giacometti** to **DirtyMartini**

 **HamstersOnIce:** got em

 **M-babicheva:** ooooh me too!!!

_HamstersOnIce changed **m-babicheva** to **DoYouPairLift**._

**HamstersOnIce:** double got em (☆ω☆)

 **IceKitten:** am i literally the only person here who is not completely insane

 **IceKitten:** (except beka)

 **Beka:** (ty)

 **HamstersOnIce:** omg gayyyy

 **HamstersOnIce:** id give u the gay roles but i already gave them to viktor and yuuri

 **Y-katsuki:** Why???

 **IceIceBaby:** omg yasss, phichit youre the best

_HamstersOnIce changed **y-katsuki** to **Katsudon**._

**Katsudon:** Phichit please.

 **IceKitten:** ur all disgusting

 **Sg-lee:** wtf

 **IceKitten:** same

 **Sg-lee:** I’m out.

 **HamstersOnIce:** nooooooo seungseung

 **Sg-lee:** jfc no

 **JJ-Leroy** : I’m not even sure what’s happening besides a lot of screaming.

 **IceIceBaby:** i’m enjoying it

_HamstersOnIce changed **sg-lee** to **NopedOut**._

**HamstersOnIce:** hes gone ;-;

 **IceKitten:** i wish i could leave

 **Beka:** you can, though

 **IceKitten:** nope this is eternal purgatory to atone for my sins

 **HamstersOnIce:** yasss stay with usss

 **IceIceBaby:** we can hang out 4eva

 **Katsudon:** Viktor please, he’s so small and innocent.

 **IceKitten:** i am a god of darkness

 **Katsudon:** See? Small and innocent.

 **HamstersOnIce:** here new role for Yurio _@smol flake_.

 **IceKitten:** DONT GIVE ME UR SASS

 **HamstersOnIce:** _@Salty Son_

 **JJ-Leroy** : What are my roles? ;)

 **HamstersOnIce:** _@Canadian_

 **HamstersOnIce:** _@Super Gay_

 **JJ-Leroy** : I’m literally the only straight person here.

 **HamstersOnIce:** _@Super Gay_ and perpetually in _@Third Place_

 **JJ-Leroy** : D:

 **IceKitten:** HA

 **HamstersOnIce:** hold on lets make it better

_HamstersOnIce change **JJ-Leroy** to **KingJJStyle**._

**KingJJStyle:** Much better.

 **HamstersOnIce:** still u _@Super Gay_

 **DoYouPairLift:** welcome to gay baby jail, you enormous gay baby

 **KingJJStyle:** I’m not though….

 **HamstersOnIce:** changin #general to #gay-baby-jail.

_HamstersOnIce changed #general to #gay-baby-jail._

**DoYouPairLift:** YAS

 **IceKitten:** the only thing here i approve of

 **Beka:** rude

 **Katsudon:** Oh god I don’t want to be a part of this anymore.

HamsterOnIce: but _@Momma Katsuki_ you can’t leave.

 **Katsudon:** Phichit no.

 **HamstersOnIce:** phichit yes

 **KingJJStyle:** If I have to stay here, so do you.

 **IceKitten:** you dont. please leave

 **IceIceBaby:** yurio u dont have to be so mean (｡T ω T｡)

 **IceKitten:** someone has to be the voice of reason among you crazies

 **IceKitten:** (except you beka)

 **Beka:** (ty)

 **IceIceBaby:** but yurio were like papa and son

 **HamstersOnIce:** literally _@Papa Viktor @Salty Son_

 **IceKitten:** I HAVE PARENTS

 **HamstersOnIce:** not on the internet u dont

 **Katsudon:** 0 to 100 real quick Phichit.

 **DoYouPairLift:** yura you need internet parents to keep the salt in check

 **IceKitten:** TOO LATE MY SODIUM CONTENT IS CRITICAL

 **IceIceBaby:** beka save me (ಥ﹏ಥ)

 **Beka:** yura settle

 **IceKitten:** AAAAAAAAAA WHATEVER

_HamstersOnIce changed **HamstersOnIce** to **HamSchoolMusical**._

**HamSchoolMusical:** beka 2 the rescueeee _@Yurio Whisperer_

 **Beka:** yw

 **IceKitten:** u wanna go m8

 **HamSchoolMusical:** _@Best Friends_ tho

 **Katsudon:** OK I’m going to bed, _@Papa Viktor_ go to bed.

 **IceKitten:** dont call ur boyfriend daddy in my presence u filth im kinkshaming

 **Katsudon:** _@Husbando_ go to bed.

 **IceIceBaby:** _@Waifu @Momma Yuuri_ ❤ (ɔˆз(ˆ⌣ˆc)

 **HamSchoolMusicial:** _@Gay_

 **KingJJStyle:** I’m getting a little uncomfortable here.

 **IceKitten:** stop agreeing with me

 **HamSchoolMusical:** _@Super Gay_

 **DirtyMartini:** i hope u gave me good roles

 **HamSchoolMusical:** _@Gossip Buddies_ (´｡• ω •｡`)

 **DirtyMartini:** yasssss

 **HamSchoolMusical:** \+ _@Ice Fetish_

 **DirtyMartini:** woooo

 **IceKitten:** why are you all so gross

 **HamSchoolMusical:** dont be this way _@Yurio_ we can be _@Best Friends_ one day

 **IceKitten:** yeaaaah ur never going to reach beka tier sorry not sorry

 **Beka:** aw

 **HamSchoolMusical:** you guys need your own gay role

 **IceKitten:** SHUT UP

 **DoYouPairLift:** tru though

 **IceKitten:** S H U T U P B A B A

 **HamSchoolMusical:** _@Friendly Gay @Not So Friendly Gay @Baba_ got eemmmm

 **HamSchoolMusical:** ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

 **DoYouPairLift:** ( ╥ω╥ )

 **IceKitten:** ↑_(ΦwΦ)Ψ           

 **HamSchoolMusical:** now we just need _@Silent Treatment_ back and we will be gud

 **DoYouPairLift:** idk he seems like a wet blanket

 **KingJJStyle:** I’m mostly jealous that he’s had the guts to leave.

 **HamSchoolMusical:** but now we just spam him with @s until he comes back to us _@BABY COME BACK_

 **DoYouPairLift:** _@Blame it all on Phichit_

 **HamSchoolMusical:** _@Silent Treatment_ i luv u come back

 **DirtyMartini:** ;)

 **IceKitten:** dont wink ever again

 **DirtyMartini:** yurio dont be so mean to me~

 **IceKitten:** ୧((#Φ益Φ#))୨ BATTLE ME

_HamSchoolMusical changed **IceKitten** to **IceKittenYurio**._

**HamSchoolMusical:** yurio so salt _@Salty Son_

 **IceKittenYurio:** YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT ME BEING SALTY

 **IceKittenYurio:** YET YOU INCREASE MY SODIUM INTAKE

 **HamSchoolMusical:** _@Ice Tiger @Ice Fairy_ ice is white like salt rite ｡ﾟ( ﾟ^∀^ﾟ)ﾟ｡

 **IceKittenYurio:** its also street slang for meth so

 **Beka:** dont

 **IceKittenYurio:** I DONT NEED MORE MOMS

 **HamSchoolMusical:** _@Team Yurio Mom_

 **Beka:** thats accurate

 **IceKittenYurio:** BEKA STOP

 **HamSchoolMusical:** i pride myself on accurate role giving

 **HamSchoolMusical:** _@Hater_ suck et

 **IceKittenYurio:** IM GOING TO BED BEFORE I COMMIT ACTUAL MURDER

 **HamSchoolMusical:** k nite _@Not So Friendly Gay @Endless Screaming_

 **Beka:** sleep well yura

 **IceKittenYurio:** PISS OFF PHICHIT thanks beka

 **HamSchoolMusical:** and with that my job here is done

 **DoYouPairLift:** omg you were trying to get him to leave?????

 **HamSchoolMusical:** i wanted to see how long itd take before hed either die of salt or leave

 **HamSchoolMusical:** it took about 20 mins and its still like 4 am so like imma sleep

 **Beka:** sleep well phichit. I should sleep as well so good night.

 **KingJJStyle:** It’s not even that late??

 **HamSchoolMusical:** u uncultured canadian ur in canada

 **KingJJStyle:** Oh, yeah. Time zones.

 **HamSchoolMusical:** ur no longer a canadian ur an _@Uncultured Canadian_

 **DoYouPairLift:** lmao nerds

 **DoYouPairLift:** anyway since everyone else has basically evacuated im gonna sleep too. Later!

 **HamSchoolMusical:** nite all u nerds

 **KingJJStyle:** Aaaaall byyyy myseeeeelf...

 **DirtyMartini:** ;)


	2. [gay intensifies]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mila and Phichit have a bet, Viktor needs to leave, the Katsudon gets spicier, and Beka stays for.......dessert. [wink]

**HamSchoolMusical:** SUP FAM

 **KingJJStyle:** ITS 2 AM

 **HamSchoolMusical:** wut do u mean its like 2 pm, i thought time zones didn’t exist _@Uncultured Canadian_

 **DoYouPairLift:** LMAO @ _Uncultured Canadian_ rooooasted

 **IceIceBaby:** @ _Momma Yuuri_ made me breakfast and it was vkusno! (*´♡`*)

 **IceKittenYurio:** gross

 **IceIceBaby:** my own son insulting his mother’s cooking! _@Salty Son_ indeed

 **IceKittenYurio:** KATSUDON IS NOT MY MOM

 **Katsudon:** You called me Katsudon though, you accept me at least a little.

 **Katsudon:** @ _Papa Viktor_ He’s beginning to believe.

 **IceKittenYurio:** U WOT M8

 **KingJJStyle:** Guys please I’m trying to sleep.

_HamSchoolMusical changed HamSchoolMusical to HamSchoolOnIce._

**HamSchoolOnIce:** deal with it u @ _Uncultured Canadian_

 **Beka:** I’d watch that musical.

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** RITE!!! yuuri doesnt see the appeal

 **Beka:** he’s tasteless.

 **IceKittenYurio:** LOL

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** wow you need an @ _Savage_ role

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** #done

 **DoYouPairLift:** why is everyone bullying him what did he do

 **IceIceBaby:** ya y u bullying my @ _Waifu_

 **IceIceBaby:** he’s a precious cinnamon roll

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** #roled @ _Precious Cinnamon Roll_ where u at

 **KingJJStyle:** GUYS IT’S SO LATE STOP.

 **Katsudon:** OMG Phichit why;;

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** early* and cause u so precious

 **IceKittenYurio:** [quietly vomits]

 **IceIceBaby:** omg yurio u aight i need to make sure my @ _Salty Son_ is ok

 **Katsudon:** Viktor get some stomach medicine.

 **IceKittenYurio:** [VOMITING INTENSIFIES]

 **Beka:** i’ll be over with stomach meds

 **IceKittenYurio:** no im fine oh my god

 **IceIceBaby:** ooooo u go @ _Friendly Gay_ davai (*´♡`*)/

 **IceKittenYurio:** he can come over but beka pls no medicine

 **Beka:** ok i’m omw

 **IceKittenYurio:** ALREADY????

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** wow we need to up ur gay roles at some point

 **DoYouPairLift:** this is like. Too gay for even me

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** says @ _Lesbian_

 **DoYouPairLift:** point made

 **Katsudon:** @ _Husbando_ You forgot your coffee downstairs.

 **IceIceBaby:** sorry not sorry bring it to me <3

 **Katsudon:** No.

 **DoYouPairLift:** TELL HIM YUURI

 **DoYouPairLift:** YOU ARE STRONK AND INDEPENDENT

 **IceIceBaby:** yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuri ｡ﾟ･ ( >﹏<) ･ﾟ

 **IceIceBaby:** y u do this

 **Katsudon:** It’s literally right here, you just have to move a few feet.

 **KingJJStyle:** G U Y S S T O P

 **IceKittenYurio:** lol no @ _Third Place_

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** yurio needs @ _Savage_ too

 **IceIceBaby:** fine ill get my own coffee ;-;

 **DoYouPairLift:** YEAH GO YUURI

 **IceKittenYurio:** @ _Baba_ y are you so invested in this garbage

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** ya it should be me, @ _Captain of SS Viktuuri_

 **DoYouPairLift:** im not invested in their relationship im invested in their domestic squabbles

 **Katsudon:** Pretty much the same thing in this house.

 **IceIceBaby:** yuuri (ಥ﹏ಥ)

 **IceKittenYurio:** AHAHA DUSTED

 **Katusdon:** Speaking of dusting, it’s your week to clean.

 **IceIceBaby:** yurio plz

 **IceKittenYurio:** i revel in your suffering

 **IceKittenYurio:** brb door’s ringing

 **IceIceBaby:** i hope he hates ur dirty house

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** everyone needs @ _Savage_

 **IceKittenYurio:** OH YM GOD I FORGOT TO CLEAN G UYS [pin]

 **IceIceBaby:** wut was that yurio? Dusted?

 **Katsudon:** I didn’t know you had a petty side to you Viktor.

 **IceKittenYurio:** GUYS SHUT UP THIS IS SERIOUS HES LITERALLY OUTSIDE MY DOOR WHAT DO I DO

 **Katsudon:** Either clean in two seconds, let him into your pigsty, or reject him.

 **IceKittenYurio:** F THHIS ITS ALL GOING UNDER MY BED BRB

 **Katsudon:** Oh Yurio no that’s not how you clean.

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** lol gonna like save yurios panicked texts as bm

_HamSchoolOnIce pinned a message._

**DoYouPairLift:** oh my goooood yura is such a nerd

 **KingJJStyle:** I AM SO TIRED

 **Katsudon:** You realise you can just mute the chat, right?’

 **IceIceBaby:** no dont ruin this for us yuuri

 **KingJJStyle:** how please tell me

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** @ _Uncultured Canadian_

 **Katsudon:** Literally in your settings. How have you even made it this far?

 **KingJJStyle:** im tired and ive basically never used this before goodnight im out

_HamSchoolOnIce changed KingJJStyle to UnculturedCanadian._

**HamSchoolOnIce:** pretty much his name anyways (*˘︶˘*)

 **DoYouPairLift:** this keeps getting better and better nicely done _@Hamster Nerd_

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** i knooo (((o(*°▽°*)o)))

 **Katsudon:** Viktor you’re gonna be late for practice.

 **IceIceBaby:** oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (＞﹏＜)

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** @ _Best Friends_ we need a status update

 **IceKittenYurio:** everything is fine shut up we’re tryin to chill

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** @ _Friendly Gay_ yuras being mean to me

 **Beka:** i hit his head

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** ＼(≧▽≦)／

 **IceKittenYurio:** I HATE YOU ALL

 **Katsudon:** Then why are you still here?

 **DoYouPairLift:** lmao he got u yura #exposed

 **IceKittenYurio:** LEAVE ME ALONE

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** loooooooool #dusted

 **Beka:** so, question. does anyone know why yura keeps his trash under his bed

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** check the pins lolol

 **IceKittenYurio:** YOU PINNED THAT?????????/ I HATE

 **Beka:** oh that explains it.

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** lolololololol u rlly think id give up such good bm?

 **IceIceBaby:** lol gj yurio

 **DoYouPairLift:** looooooool rekt

 **Katsudon:** Viktor stop texting on the ice.

 **IceKittenYurio:** no please keep texting on the ice maybe he’ll crash and die

 **Katsudon:** Not while I’m watching him. At least he can do a quad flip.

 **IceKittenYurio:** u wanna go

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** beka control ur bf

 **IceKittenYurio:** HJKDJ

 **Beka:** i hit his phone away

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** ヽ( >∀<☆)ノ go @ _Yurio Whisperer_

 **DoYouPairLift:** @ _Yurio Whisperer_ is right this is incredible

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** quick lets bad mouth him while hes finding his phone

 **Katsudon:** Yurio tried to steal my name so he succs.

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** eyyyyy good idea.

 **Katsudon:** Oh god

 **Beka:** please stop he’s going to read all of this.

 **IceIceBaby:** at least i don’t yell at people when they wish them good luck

 _HamSchoolOnIce changed_ **_Katsudon_ ** _to_ **_Katsuccy_ ** _._

 **Katsuccy:** please

 **IceKittenYurio:** IM NOT EVEN MAD LMAO

 **Katsuccy:** Then why is it in caps.

 **IceKittenYurio:** BECAUSE SOMEONE HERE HAS A WORSE NAME THAN ME IM SO HAPPY

 _HamSchoolOnIce changed_ **_IceKittenYurio_ ** _to_ **_SmolFlakeYurio_ ** _._

 **Katsuccy:** Phichit change my name back or you’re never getting invited to the New Year’s party.

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** yuuurriiiiiii (个_个)

 **Katsuccy:** Phichit.

 _HamSchoolOnIce changed_ **_Katsuccy_ ** _to_ **_Katsudon_ ** _._

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** @ _Hamster Nerd_ next time i see you im gonna kick ur head off

 **Beka:** no he won’t.

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** lol can u even reach

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** I CAN JUMP

 **Katsudon:** He’s only an inch taller than you.

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** doesnt mean hes got the legs tho

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** i reiterate: i can jump like u wouldnt believe that head is getting knocked right off

 **IceIceBaby:** yurio y my @ _Salty Son_

 **Katsudon:** Stop texting on the ice.

 **IceIceBaby:** (＞ｍ＜)

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** me @ _everyone_ : /( .□.)＼ ︵╰(°益°)╯︵ /(.□. /)

 **Beka:** calm

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** I AM CALM

 **DoYouPairLift:** ten bucks says yurio is throwing things

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** ill take tht bet, lunch at 3

 **DoYouPairLift:** ur on lol

 **Beka:** things plural? Because he threw a stuffed cat

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** but how many times cuz it can count as “things” if its multiple times

 **Beka:** just once but he seems to be preparing another one

 **Beka:** there it goes

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** hav fun on the airplane

 **DoYouPairLift:** lol fine but i get the impression im not gonna be there in time for 3 :/

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** who said pm

 **DoYouPairLift:** pls tell me u have ihop in thailand bc i am SO DOWN for 3 am pancakes

 **UnculturedCanadian:** hello evry1!!!

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** yo new phone who dis

 **UnculturedCanadian:** jj of course

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** lolol more like jjs girls

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** ok so is anyone convinced by this

 **UnculturedCanadian:** :( ok fine its isabella his phone was in a bowl in the cupboard and its blowing up?

 **DoYouPairLift:** OMGGG HE COULDNT FIGURE IT OUT EVEN WHEN YUURI EXPLAINED IT IM DEAD

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** lolololololololololololololololol

 **Katsudon:** I can’t even feel bad about it.

 **Beka:** i feel a little bad

 **DoYouPairLift:** LMAOOOOOO DONT MAN THIS IS PERFECT

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** lol hes the worst at this

 **UnculturedCanadian:** HEY leave him alone hes trying his best :(

 **IceIceBaby:** and i thought i had a problem

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** i thought no one could beat u guys lel

 **IceIceBaby:** (//♡//)

 **UnculturedCanadian:**? i dont get it

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** i always got 2 spell it out for u losers

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** u r trying rlly hard to protect ur man

 **IceIceBaby:** ya u try hard

 **Katsudon:** Pot, kettle, black.

 **UnculturedCanadian:** well someone has to protect him when ur slandering him :(

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** get out you FILTHY HETERO

 **Beka:** whoa

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** wut abt bi tho

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** thats like half gay so its fine

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** \\(★ω★)/

 **DirtyMartini:** this _is_ gay baby jail @ _Uncultured Canadian_

 **UnculturedCanadian:** STOP BEING MEAN TO HIM

 **IceIceBaby:** @ _Uncultured Canadian_ at least im married

 **Katsudon:** @ _Papa Viktor_ Viktor

 **IceIceBaby:** its true (◕♡◕)

 **UnculturedCanadian:** once he kicks u all into oblivion well be married 2 <3

 **IceIceBaby:** ya ok thats why hes @ _Third Place_ forever

 **DirtyMartini:** ooooooooooooooo

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Katsudon:**

**SmolFlakeYurio:**  

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** CALL THE PRESS OTABEK LAUGHED [pin]

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** omg get a pic i need more bm 4 him

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** lol u think im gonna betray my _@Best Friends_

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** 4 a tiger plush u wud (plus its pinned now)

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** [beka.png]

 **Beka:** yura i thought you were my friend

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** its shipped lol

 **UnculturedCanadian:** your all so cruel to my fiance why are you so mean hes a good person

 **IceIceBaby:** never heard a funnier joke in my life

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** riteeee plus arent u skating rite now

 **Katsudon:** He pretty much stopped practicing so I dragged him off so he didn’t kill himself.

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** did he break anything

 **IceIceBaby:** my pride

 **Katsudon:** He slipped because he was laughing too hard then I made fun of his bald spot.

 **IceIceBaby:** ITS NOT BALD ITS THINNING (＃`Д´)

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** lol what pride (o˘◡˘o)

 **Beka:** yura stop

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** ya u tell em @ _Friendly Gay_

 **Beka:** i did

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** one day ull understand

 **DoYouPairLift:** im at the airport and i only just got to look back at all of this and i feel like i was asleep for the apocalypse

 **DirtyMartini:** p much my existence in this chat, i got things to do with my husband

 **Katsudon:** Not unlike me and my @ _Husbando_ Like lunch, right now.

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** YOU ARE ALL DISGUSTING

 **Katsudon:** Need I remind you of @ _Not So Friendly Gay_ and @ _Yurio_ and @ _Hater_ Thanks Phichit. (And @ _Best Friends_ which should just be gay friends)

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** #changed @ _Gay Friends_

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** WHY ARE U ALL SUCH GARBAGE

 **Beka:** if the shoe fits

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** THIS IS HARASSMENT

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** ya

 **Katsudon:** We already told you, you can just leave like @ _Baby Come Back_ you know.

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** mmmmmmMMMMMMMMM STOP TAUNTING ME

 _HamSchoolOnIce changed_ **_SmolFlakeYurio_ ** _to_ **_SmolGayYurio_ ** _._

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** lol changed to reflect ur true nature

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** i should get u 2 match w/ beka

 **SmolGayYurio:** IM CALLING THE POLICE

 **Beka:** his phone has been confiscated yw

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** thanks fam u wanna match w yo hubby

 **Beka:** it doesnt really matter to me so sure

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** u got me at doesn’t

 _HamSchoolOnIce changed_ **_Beka_ ** _to_ **_BigGayBeka_ ** _._

 **BigGayBeka:** ok

 **Katsudon:** This is what I come back to after lunch.

 **IceIceBaby:** OMG yuuri we should match _( ´_ ♡ ⁾⁾⁾)

 **Katsudon:** Viktor no, we already have matching roles.

 **IceIceBaby:** viktor yes phichit do et

 **DoYouPairLift:** IVE GOT LIKE 5 SECONDS BEFORE I GET ON THE PLANE SO I WOULD LIKE TO SAY D O I T P H I C H I T

 _HamSchoolOnIce changed_ **_IceIceBaby_ ** _to_ **_GayGayBaby_ ** _._

 _HamSchoolOnIce changed_ **_Katsudon_ ** _to_ **_KatsuGay_ ** _._

 **GayGayBaby:** its all ive ever dreamed

 **KatsuGay:** You’re not invited to my New Year’s party.

 **DoYouPairLift:** YAS

 **DoYouPairLift:** u are a treasure phichit ill be there in several hours to buy u pancakes

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** lol itll prolly get changed back at sum point enjoy it will u can

 **DirtyMartini:** omg lol i wish my hubby was here so we can match too

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** we dont talk about the noodle incident

 **DoYouPairLift:** i expect a full report on the noodle incident when i get there

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** u owe me dessert

 **KatsuGay:** Change our names back before I fly to Thailand too.

 **GayGayBaby:** yuuuuuuri i luv our names

 **DoYouPairLift:** dont listen to him phichit ill be there to defend u  <3

 **GayGayBaby:** yuuri no dont buy tickets

 **KatsuGay:** Watch me.

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** wow look at the time its late see ya, gotta nap

 **KatsuGay:** I SWEAR TO GOD PHICHIT

 **BigGayBeka:** KSAJFFN,D

 **SmolGayYurio:** AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I AM A GOD

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** wut hav u dun to beka nuuu (;;;*_*)

 **SmolGayYurio:** he thought he could steal my phone

 **SmolGayYurio:** HE WAS WRONG NOW I HAVE HIS PHONE AND IM IN THE CLOSET

 **DirtyMartini:** i thought u already came out tho

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** yo u rite @ _Not So Friendly Gay_

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** if we ping him enuff beka will find him @ _Yurio_

 **SmolGayYurio:** nah im beating the system i am barricading the door w my body

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** well just ping beka @ _Friendly Gay_

 **KatsuGay:** Phichit one thing at a time.

 **GayGayBaby:** yuuri we cant go to thailand what about practice

 **KatsuGay:** WATCH ME

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** ok fine ;-;

 _HamSchoolOnIce changed_ **_KatsuGay_ ** _to_ **_Katsudon_ ** _._

 _HamSchoolOnIce changed_ **_GayGayBaby_ ** _to_ **_IceIceBaby_ ** _._

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** ( ╥ω╥ )

 **SmolGayYurio:** HES AT THE DOOR OH GOD

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** @ _Friendly Gay_ were in here save us

 **SmolGayYurio:** STOPP IS THIS WHAT HORROR MOVIE PROTAGS FEEL LIKE

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** @ _[muffled screaming in kazakh]_ save me ;-;

 **SmolGayYurio:** IM BEING  AGGRESSED

 **BigGayBeka:** im back

 **SmolGayYurio:** hes bullying me i didnt do anything wr ong

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** since yuuri bullied me ill just put everyones name bk so its easy

 _HamSchoolOnIce changed_ **_BigGayBeka_ ** _to_ **_Beka_ ** _._

 _HamSchoolOnIce changed_ **_SmolGayYurio_ ** _to_ **_SmolFlakeYurio_ ** _._

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** sadness @ _Lesbian_

 **DoYouPairLift:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOO also i gotta turn this thing off lol

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** now we just have to bully you into removing the “smol flake” (≖ ͜ʖ≖)

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** never

 **Katsudon:** Yeah, only I can bully him @ _Not So Friendly Gay_

 **IceIceBaby:**  ty we dont gotta go to thailand, its hot

 **Beka:** i was fine w/ this though

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** TRAITOR

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** lol beka is baeka

 **Beka:** is my name going to change again

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** oh my gooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOD

 **Katsudon:** We should revoke his rights.

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** i am the admin tho

 **Katsudon:** Who said it was your chat rights.

 **IceIceBaby:** omg bb plz

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** do i have permission to commit murder

 **Katsudon:** No, unless you plan on taking down Phichit if he does anything else stupid.

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** [cracks knuckles]

 **Beka:** please do not im not posting bail

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** [sweats]

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** @ _Spicy Katsudon_ u need 2 chill

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** permission has been given if phichit does anything else hes gettin rekt

 **IceIceBaby:** could u say he’d be getting... dusted?

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** you tryna make me mad??

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** u mad bro

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** i mad bro

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** beka sav meh

 **Beka:** yura no

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** HE POKED MY NOSE

 **IceIceBaby:** booped em rite in the nose

 **Katsudon:** Your turn for dinner for yo huney.

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** #roled @ _Yo Huney_

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** god ur gross

 **Beka:** why is viktor still here anyway. hasn’t he had things to do throughout this entire conversation

 **Katsudon:** My point exactly.

 **IceIceBaby:** yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuri

 **Katsudon:** Dinner.

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** #rejected

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** welp now that its like 7 im gonna grab grub, see ya skrubs ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣▽￣)┘

 **DirtyMartini:** lol every1 leaves after my shift ends

 **Beka:** get better work hours

 **DirtyMartini:** but this one gets free drinks

 **Beka:** of course that explains it

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** im kicking beka out brb

 **DirtyMartini:** ur not gonna stay for dinner ;)

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** GET OUT

 **DirtyMartini:** geez u cant tell beka to his face?

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** this is so bad for my blood pressure

 **Beka:** he decided not to kick me out, thank you chris

 **DirtyMartini:** all in a days work ;))))))

 **DirtyMartini:** workin overtime

 **Katsudon:** Since everyone else is leaving, we’re going to have dinner and I’m taking Vitya with me.

 **IceIceBaby:** but what if something interesting happens (￣♡￣;)

 **Beka:** nothing interesting happens here

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** yeah nothing interesting ever

 **Beka:** is there something i need to know

 **DirtyMartini:** i do read the chat logs (¬_¬ )

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** im leaving bye gonna order pizza or something

 **Beka:** i’m going to ask abt this

 **DirtyMartini:** give em a good talking to ;)

 **Beka:** are you implying something?

 **DirtyMartini:** i never imply anything ;))

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** BEKA GET OFF UR PHONE WERE GETTING PIZZA

 **DirtyMartini:** man u guys have some serious communication issues

 **DirtyMartini:** just yell at him irl, hes right there

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** i dont want to dont judge me @ _Ice Fetish_

 **DirtyMartini:** the heart wants what the heart wants

 **DirtyMartini:** plus i wouldn’t be talking, boy who shoves garbage under his bed

 **HamSchoolOnIce:** i came back just to #roled @ _Boy Who Shoves Garbage Under His Bed_ k bye

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** SHOVE IT PHICHIT

 **DirtyMartini:** @ _Endless Screaming_

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** S H U T

 **SmolFlakeYurio:** whatever i’ve had enough of this crap im getting food

 **DirtyMartini:** and thus we are left alone in peace

 **UnculturedCanadian:** Isabella had my phone overnight, did anything happen?

 **DirtyMartini:** no ;)

 **DirtyMartini:** and would u look at the time, its dinner time

 **UnculturedCanadian:** Why am I even in this chat if no one is on when I’m on.

 **DirtyMartini:** phichit is like on 24/7 with naps in between on occasion, so like, hes here

 **UnculturedCanadian:** But he never talks to me.

 **DirtyMartini:** that makes two of us [leaves]

 **UnculturedCanadian:** I need to stop doing this to myself.

 **NopedOut:** why am i still in this


End file.
